Yuri Nesterenko

     		(from corporative correspondence)

	(Original text is in russian)
	(This story was also translated to bulgarian)



     	- Jehovah, general director and chief executive officer;
     	- Gabriel, chief of the marketing department (marketing manager);
     	- Michael, chief of the strategic planning department;
     	- Rafael,  chief of the testing and technical support department;
     	- Lucifer, chief of the system design department;


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the marketing manager Gabriel

     The marketing reports within the Genesis project had shown that the
systems of  following hardware configuration would be the best prospects
on the market.

     Planet: 1
     - Radius: 3000 km
     - Gravity: 0.5g (4,905 N*m/s^2)
     - Land to water correlation: 1:1
     - Temperature: +24
     - Atmosphere: oxygen
     - Seas: freshwater
     - Rivers: milk, honey
     - Fauna: herbivorous
     - Luminaries: 2 (daily & nightly), velocity: 0.0007 RPM (1 rotation
per day)

     To  the  strategic  planning  department  for  preparing  technical
requirement -


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the chief of the strategic planning department Michael

     In purposes of reduction of the system prime cost, I suggest:
      1)  to  combine power supply of  both luminaries to  one source of
energy and
      2) to replace oxygen to nitrogen.

     At  least 50% of  oxygen is  necessary to  leave,  or the user will
suffocate -

     25% enough -


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the chief of the system design department Lucifer

     While working over  the  Genesis project (the  "May the  light be!"
stage),  the  following difficulties were revealed:  the uninterruptible
phosphorescence supply with a distributor on two luminaries is absent. I
suggest using a standard source of a "red dwarf" type,  and as a nightly
luminary to use a mirror.

     "Yellow dwarf" will be better.
     The prime cost will raise not so much by comparison with red,
     but such a luminary will be looking much more commanding -

     But this is a server source.  Why the user of a single planet needs
it? -

     The marketing division will explain to  user,  what it is necessary
to him and what it isn't -

     Lucifer, concern about the questions of your competency.
     "Yellow dwarf" confirmed -

     And with such brightness that gives yellow dwarf,  it's possible to
use a standard planetoid instead of a mirror -

     I Agree -


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the chief of the system design department Lucifer

     After   correcting   the   technical   requirement  the   following
difficulties were revealed: the mass of the UPS much exceeds the mass of
the planet and as  the consequence the supply refuses to  revolve around
planet.  Instead,  the planet revolves around the supply.  Besides,  the
power of  the source is so high,  that the temperature exceeds technical
requirement  specification approximately on  2  orders.  Increasing  the
distance  to  the  source,  means  greatly  enlarging dimensions of  the

     Gabarits are a very prestigious point,  but planet revolving around
the  peripheral could cause user to  be  able to  sense his inferiority.
Maybe, we would change the gravitational constant? -

     If   we  will  change  it,   there  might  be  some  problems  with
compatibility -

     What difference this matter will make to user - around what he will
revolve?   Let  the  marketing  department  thinks  up  some  theory  of
relativity -


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the chief of the system design department Lucifer

     After the enlarging an  orbital radius of the planet,  all attempts
to  accelerate the  planet to  the  speed,  specified in  the  technical
requirement,  brings system to  a  crash  (the  planet flies  deep  into
     Apropos, there's the same situation with the night source.

     Never mind  what  occurs in  the  system -  only  the  user's sight
matters.  Why don't we  force the planet to spin around it's axis?  Then
user  will  think,  that sun  and  moon will revolve around it  with the
frequency as it specified in the technical requirements -

     But if the user, somehow, will get the truth? -

     If he'll get it, the project will be completed for a long time ago -

     I agree -


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the  chief of  the  testing and  technical support departament

     The primary system testing have revealled some difficulties:
     1) stable overheat exists;
     2) spin axis deviated on 23 degrees from vertical position,  and as
the consequence of it the cyclical temperature anomalies appeared;
     3) rivers reception capacity is not as specified in project;
     4) the herbivorous fauna is absent;
     5) orbit is unstable, planet tends to fall on the sun

     1)  But what did you want with such land to water correlation?  For
optimal cooling we need something like one-third or one-fourth;
     2) we are working on it;
     3) just because milk is souring and honey candying;
     4)  herbivorous fauna needs grass,  but grass isn't growing because
of  such heat and  without a  water.  I  suggest to  put  water into the
rivers, thus it helps us to solve a third problem;
     5) as a gravitational counterweight we should launch another planet
into outside (external) orbit -

     There's impossible to  shorter the land,  so,  we  must enlarge the
areas of the seas.
     But  that  means  growing of  volume  and  gravity.  And  an  extra
planet... -

     ...  will be OK for a user.  We will register the extra planet as a
feature.  But we've just announced milk and honey.  We would leave it at
least in the most observable rivers -

     I  want to remind you that the time is nearly out,  but your "horse
did   not   yet  wallow"  [russian  common  expression  -   comments  by
translator].  And by the way,  designers still haven't presented a horse
project,  'cause they are still nursing with dinosaurs. Who needs 'em? -

     But user likes dinos... -

     Well, OK, but horses must be too -


     To the general director Jehovah
     from the  chief of  the  testing and  technical support departament

     1)  Aside from  undecided problems with  axis,  the  planet have  a
tendency to fly to the outer space;
     2) herbivorous fauna is absent again.

     1) We'll make another counterweight, but on the inner orbit;
     2) fauna multiplied, ate all the grass and died -

     How much counterweights do you need?

     In  common,  after the calibration works,  we stabilized the system
using nine -

     Do I understand correctly?  Instead of one planet the user will get
nine?! -

     And what? All the same, eight of them are useless for life -

     But the dimensions of the system? -

     But it's unnecessary to  user to  know them!  You can't see half of
that planets with a  naked eye.  I suggest to add to the Users Guide the
11-th commandment: "Do not invent the telescope!" -

     There's no  need  in  this,  because than  they  will  discover the
telescope certainly -

     By the way, after increasing radius of the orbit, the brightness of
the night luminary fell lower down than the project minimum.  I  suggest
installing a mirror instead of it -

     But where you were earlier?  We  just balanced the system!  Do  you
want to readjust all?! Anew?! -

     No anew!  Only six days is remaining before the final commissioning
of the project.
     Lucifer,  you should force all of  this to  work,  or I'll low your
official status! -

     Am  I  guilty,  that  first TR  [technical requirement] wasn't good
enough? Now the conclusion. Deviation of the axis we have to leave as it
is. At least, it will be +24 in the gardens of Eden, and if the customer
will 'climb' somewhere else,  it  will be only his troubles.  We haven't
enough time to complete the dinosaurs, but we will finish the horses. We
couldn't do  something with milk and honey,  so we started the water for
the  rivers.  The  truth is,  that rivers brings salt to  the  seas.  We
released  a  predator  patch,  'cause  of  herbivorous not  to  ate  all
resources,  but we haven't time to install a  program to differ user and
prey. But, in common, somehow it will work. -

     And that's good -


(C) Yuri Nesterenko (YuN), 2002
Translated by Yuri Lapitskiy, 2003