(C) Yury Nesterenko (http://yun.complife.info), 
translation to English by Alexander Panasyuk.

Computer Bible

1. In the beginning there was the Word, and Word had two Bytes and
there was nothing else.
2. And God divided the ones from the zeros and saw that it was good.
3. And God said, Let there be data: and there were data.
4. And God said, Let data be gathered together into each own place
and he created floppies, hard drives and CD-ROMs.
5. And God said, Let there be computers so there was a place to
put hard drives, floppies and CD-ROMs. And God created computers
and called them  "hardware" and divided "hardware" from "software".
6. But there were no software yet so Lord God corrected himself and
created programs big and small and blessed them, saying, Be fruitful,
and multiply, and fill all memory.
7. And God got tired from writing programs and said, Let us make
programmer in our image, after our likeness: and let him to have
dominion over computers and programs and data. So God created a
programmer and put him into his Computing Facility to live and work
there. And LORD God brought programmer to the Directory Tree and
commanded him, saying, From every directory thou mayest run programs.
But from the WINDOWS directory thou shalt not run programs at all: 
8. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the programmer should
be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. And the LORD God
took one of programmer's bones which had no brains and created a
CUSTOMER; and brought him unto programmer: and  programmer called
customer a USER. And they were both sitting under pure DOS, and
were not ashamed.
9. Now the Bill was more subtil than any beast of the field. And he
said unto the user, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not run programms
from every directory? And the user said, We may run programms from
every directory, but of the WINDOWS directory, God hath said, Ye
shall not run programms from it, for MUST DIE. And Bill said to
user, Let us argue a taste of oyster with those who ate them! In
the day ye run WINDOWS, then ye shall be as gods, for with one click 
of mouse ye create whatever you want. And when the user saw that
WINDOWS was pleasant to the eyes, and a program to be desired for
it makes any knowledge unnecessary, and installed it on his computer;
and said also unto programmer that it was cool; and programmer
installed it too.
0A. And programmer went to look for new drivers, and he heard the
voice of the LORD God, asking, Where art thou? And programmer said,
Looking for new drivers, for there are no drivers under pure DOS.
And the LORD God said, who told thee that thou needth drivers? Hast
thou run programms from WINDOWS directory? And programmer said,
The user whom thou gavest to be with me, he told me that from now
on he wants programms only from WINDOWS directory; and I installed
them. And the LORD God said unto the user,  What is this that thou 
hast done? And the user said, The Bill beguiled me, and I did run
OB. And the LORD God said unto the Bill, Because thou hast done
this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of
the field; and I will put enmity between thee and the programmer;
for he will curse you and thou will sell WINDOWS to him.
OC. Unto the user he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and
barren thy wallet; and thou will use buggy programs; and thou will
not survive without the programmer, and he shall rule over thee.
0D. And unto programmer he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto
the voice of the user,cursed are computers for thy sake; bugs and
viruses will they bring to thou; in sorrow shalt thou fight them
all the days of thy life; in the sweat of thy face shalt thou debug
thy code.
0E. Therefore the LORD God sent them forth from his Computer Facility;
and he set password on entry.
0F. General protection fault.

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