PROJECT GENESIS
(from corporative correspondence)
by Yury Nesterenko
(Original text is in russian)
(This story was also translated to bulgarian)
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Characters:
- Jehovah, general director and chief executive officer;
- Gabriel, chief of the marketing department (marketing manager);
- Michael, chief of the strategic planning department;
- Rafael, chief of the testing and technical support department;
- Lucifer, chief of the system design department;
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To the general director Jehovah
from the marketing manager Gabriel
The marketing reports within the Genesis project had shown that the
systems of following hardware configuration would be the best prospects
on the market.
Planet: 1
- Radius: 3000 km
- Gravity: 0.5g (4,905 N*m/s^2)
- Land to water correlation: 1:1
- Temperature: +24
- Atmosphere: oxygen
- Seas: freshwater
- Rivers: milk, honey
- Fauna: herbivorous
Periphery:
- Luminaries: 2 (daily & nightly), velocity: 0.0007 RPM (1 rotation
per day)
To the strategic planning department for preparing technical
requirement -
Jehovah
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To the general director Jehovah
from the chief of the strategic planning department Michael
In purposes of reduction of the system prime cost, I suggest:
1) to combine power supply of both luminaries to one source of
energy and
2) to replace oxygen to nitrogen.
At least 50% of oxygen is necessary to leave, or the user will
suffocate -
Rafael
25% enough -
Jehovah
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To the general director Jehovah
from the chief of the system design department Lucifer
While working over the Genesis project (the "May the light be!"
stage), the following difficulties were revealed: the uninterruptible
phosphorescence supply with a distributor on two luminaries is absent. I
suggest using a standard source of a "red dwarf" type, and as a nightly
luminary to use a mirror.
"Yellow dwarf" will be better.
The prime cost will raise not so much by comparison with red,
but such a luminary will be looking much more commanding -
Gabriel
But this is a server source. Why the user of a single planet needs
it? -
Lucifer
The marketing division will explain to user, what it is necessary
to him and what it isn't -
Gabriel
Lucifer, concern about the questions of your competency.
"Yellow dwarf" confirmed -
Jehovah
And with such brightness that gives yellow dwarf, it's possible to
use a standard planetoid instead of a mirror -
Michael
I Agree -
Jehovah
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To the general director Jehovah
from the chief of the system design department Lucifer
After correcting the technical requirement the following
difficulties were revealed: the mass of the UPS much exceeds the mass of
the planet and as the consequence the supply refuses to revolve around
planet. Instead, the planet revolves around the supply. Besides, the
power of the source is so high, that the temperature exceeds technical
requirement specification approximately on 2 orders. Increasing the
distance to the source, means greatly enlarging dimensions of the
system.
Gabarits are a very prestigious point, but planet revolving around
the peripheral could cause user to be able to sense his inferiority.
Maybe, we would change the gravitational constant? -
Gabriel
If we will change it, there might be some problems with
compatibility -
Michael
What difference this matter will make to user - around what he will
revolve? Let the marketing department thinks up some theory of
relativity -
Jehovah
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To the general director Jehovah
from the chief of the system design department Lucifer
After the enlarging an orbital radius of the planet, all attempts
to accelerate the planet to the speed, specified in the technical
requirement, brings system to a crash (the planet flies deep into
space).
Apropos, there's the same situation with the night source.
Never mind what occurs in the system - only the user's sight
matters. Why don't we force the planet to spin around it's axis? Then
user will think, that sun and moon will revolve around it with the
frequency as it specified in the technical requirements -
Gabriel
But if the user, somehow, will get the truth? -
Jehovah
If he'll get it, the project will be completed for a long time ago -
Gabriel
I agree -
Jehovah
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To the general director Jehovah
from the chief of the testing and technical support departament
Rafael
The primary system testing have revealled some difficulties:
1) stable overheat exists;
2) spin axis deviated on 23 degrees from vertical position, and as
the consequence of it the cyclical temperature anomalies appeared;
3) rivers reception capacity is not as specified in project;
4) the herbivorous fauna is absent;
5) orbit is unstable, planet tends to fall on the sun
1) But what did you want with such land to water correlation? For
optimal cooling we need something like one-third or one-fourth;
2) we are working on it;
3) just because milk is souring and honey candying;
4) herbivorous fauna needs grass, but grass isn't growing because
of such heat and without a water. I suggest to put water into the
rivers, thus it helps us to solve a third problem;
5) as a gravitational counterweight we should launch another planet
into outside (external) orbit -
Lucifer
There's impossible to shorter the land, so, we must enlarge the
areas of the seas.
But that means growing of volume and gravity. And an extra
planet... -
Michael
... will be OK for a user. We will register the extra planet as a
feature. But we've just announced milk and honey. We would leave it at
least in the most observable rivers -
Gabriel
I want to remind you that the time is nearly out, but your "horse
did not yet wallow" [russian common expression - comments by
translator]. And by the way, designers still haven't presented a horse
project, 'cause they are still nursing with dinosaurs. Who needs 'em? -
Jehovah
But user likes dinos... -
Gabriel
Well, OK, but horses must be too -
Jehovah
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To the general director Jehovah
from the chief of the testing and technical support departament
Rafael
1) Aside from undecided problems with axis, the planet have a
tendency to fly to the outer space;
2) herbivorous fauna is absent again.
1) We'll make another counterweight, but on the inner orbit;
2) fauna multiplied, ate all the grass and died -
Lucifer
How much counterweights do you need?
Michael
In common, after the calibration works, we stabilized the system
using nine -
Lucifer
Do I understand correctly? Instead of one planet the user will get
nine?! -
Jehovah
And what? All the same, eight of them are useless for life -
Lucifer
But the dimensions of the system? -
Jehovah
But it's unnecessary to user to know them! You can't see half of
that planets with a naked eye. I suggest to add to the Users Guide the
11-th commandment: "Do not invent the telescope!" -
Gabriel
There's no need in this, because than they will discover the
telescope certainly -
Jehovah
By the way, after increasing radius of the orbit, the brightness of
the night luminary fell lower down than the project minimum. I suggest
installing a mirror instead of it -
Rafael
But where you were earlier? We just balanced the system! Do you
want to readjust all?! Anew?! -
Lucifer
No anew! Only six days is remaining before the final commissioning
of the project.
Lucifer, you should force all of this to work, or I'll low your
official status! -
Jehovah
Am I guilty, that first TR [technical requirement] wasn't good
enough? Now the conclusion. Deviation of the axis we have to leave as it
is. At least, it will be +24 in the gardens of Eden, and if the customer
will 'climb' somewhere else, it will be only his troubles. We haven't
enough time to complete the dinosaurs, but we will finish the horses. We
couldn't do something with milk and honey, so we started the water for
the rivers. The truth is, that rivers brings salt to the seas. We
released a predator patch, 'cause of herbivorous not to ate all
resources, but we haven't time to install a program to differ user and
prey. But, in common, somehow it will work. -
Lucifer
And that's good -
Jehovah
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(C) Yury Nesterenko (YuN), 2002
Translated by Yuri Lapitskiy, 2003